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Showing posts from December, 2024

Solitude amid the celebration

  The lights flickered insistently, casting fleeting shadows on the walls that felt more alive than the people around me. The colors danced in vibrant hues, yet they couldn’t warm the air. Everything in this scene was crafted to evoke joy, yet my chest felt like an empty drawer no one had bothered to fill. I’ve never felt as if I belonged here. Faces came and went, some with smiles that never reached their eyes, others with kind words wrapped in velvet but sharp as knives. I feel like a complete stranger surrounded by people I cannot trust. How many of those glances were genuine attempts to connect? How many were simply pretending because that’s what we’re supposed to do during these festive days? I tried distracting myself with the decorations on the table: the sparkle of glassware, the sweet aroma rising from the dishes, the candles flickering in rhythm with conversations I couldn’t understand or care to. But at its core, everything felt like a theater, and I was merely a spectat...

A Home I Carry Within: My First Christmas Away

  The lights twinkle in the distance, tiny sparks of color dancing to the rhythm of a song I can’t hear. I stand by the window, watching the cold fog up the glass, drawing patterns that vanish as quickly as they appear. I see my tired eyes in the reflection, but they’re not empty. This will be my first Christmas away from home. I hadn’t thought much about it until now, but the silence around me made it impossible to ignore. Before, everything was different. There was laughter, intertwined voices, the sound of wrapping paper torn open, and that unmistakable aroma announcing that everything was right, that I was exactly where I belonged. But this year, my home feels different. No voices are filling the spaces, no scents embracing me with memories. It’s just me, my half-unpacked suitcase, and a small tree I bought to feel something familiar. I left everything behind because something inside me screamed that I had to fly and that a world was waiting for me. And I don’t regret it. I’ve ...